The Stages Of A Run

Here’s an accurate description of the step-by-step process that goes through your mind when you’re going on a run.

1. Okay you got this, this is it:

Wow I’m awesome, I’m so fit. Can’t wait to being a healthy lifestyle. 

  • This is usually in the beginning, maybe in your pre-stretch. You’re feeling great, you’re feeling fit and you clearly don’t have any idea about whats to come in the next half-hour or so.


2. Oh wow I feel awesome, this is the best decision I made all day:

I look great; do people see me running? I’m so fit

*** Looks at reflection in parked car ***

  • This is probably like two minutes into the run (maybe three if you’re lucky). You’re feeling awesome and loving every step you take; your feet don’t hurt yet and overall your totally enjoying yourself.


3. I should be a workout trainer or something… seriously like I’m doing awesome:

This is so easy, I wonder when this is gonna get harder?

  • This is the part when you’ve realized you’ve completed a bit of length throughout your run, and your surprisingly still doing okay. You’re feeling like a rock star and thinking about how you’re going to dramatically change your life into completely healthy, no more sugar, and exercise always. This clearly will never happen but your gonna think it anyway.


4. Okay maybe I shouldn’t have ate all those donuts:

Yep okay yep this is horrible. Wow I’m sweating a lot, I wonder if people can tell I’m sweating a lot- where is this sweat even coming from?! !

  • This is about half way through the run, the cramps are coming on and you’re totally regretting chugging that water bottle and eating three donuts before going outside, a lot of regrets and overall, lots of thoughts of who would see you if you threw up mid run.


5. Dear God, I AM DIEING

I can’t believe people like this, whoever says they love running is a liar.


  • This is that part when you start cramping, your feet start aching and you feel like your just not gonna make it back, there’s no possibility of you coming out of this alive. This is when, if you’re with a pack, you tell them to go on without you. Your cursing out every thing about the run and your ready to kill someone.


6. Welp, I’m never doing that again

That was horrible, I was never meant to be a runner anyway.

I’m throwing out my sneakers, I HATE RUNNING.

  • This is when you’ve finished your route, but your completely dead. You probably think you need to go to the hospital considering you can barely breath and your whole body aches. Forget being healthy, your going inside to eat a whole pint of ice cream.


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